Today is our 10-year wedding anniversary! We spent the morning protesting (it was cold and snowing!), then we went to the city for Wood Sprite’s music lesson. After lunch we took a nap (we’d all been up all night) and now we’re watching Hellboy while Papa makes homemade fries. That’s what I’m loving this Thursday! ❤
This week I’m also loving..
Any time with Indy at all. This is the second week he’s worked 60 hours, which means that he’s been not-home for at least 67 hours and much of that time is spent sleeping. Can you really get addicted to someone by cuddling and experience withdrawals? I believe it. I’ve been experiencing withdrawals. Hard.
My friends. My goodness have they been kind and supportive and understanding while I’ve been having meltdowns (see previous paragraph!). L, S and J in particular have been so wonderful, as always.
Time spent with my friend L this week. She also brought me these amazing chocolates and holy cow. They are my new favorites. I don’t think I’ll be buying them myself, though, because I can’t keep my hands off them. Seriously, I’ve never enjoyed chocolates this much!
Binging Doctor Who with Wood Sprite.
Hard laughter. Boy did I need it.
Journaling. I used to journal daily and now I try to squeeze it in at least weekly and I can feel the difference.
What are you loving this week?
Rocking to… Beyonce’s “Freedom”
Reading… Hellboy and BPRD comics
Writing… petitions, letters to the editor, emails to legislators, postcards to the White House… and the usual. I’m also starting a new promo project for a client this week that will replace some of the work I previously did, so while I’m excited about the new project, I am going to miss the old one!
Planning… spring semester, family time, 4-H Move Across Missouri activities, camping trips, a lock-in.
Making… protest signs
Wanting... to exit this Twilight Zone
In honor of Saturday’s march, here’s Wood Sprite’s new favorite song.
I couldn’t open the laundry room door and the dogs were trapped inside. They were whining, tears were streaming down my face. Convinced that an intruder stood on my back porch, I clung to the screwdriver in my hand, sobbing for my dogs to come out and bark and scare the person away. Logically, deep down, I know the handle is broken, but I was convinced my dead grandfather held the door shut, cackling as he aided my attacker in his plot to take my life.
That was one night this week.
Another, I pulled out a broken tooth in three pieces–two not so loose and bloody as can be–after treating mysterious bug bites on the kid, failing at plunging the clogged toilet with our dilapidated plunger, losing work and answering emails, Facebook messages and texts for three hours (many of which I really couldn’t help with; I’m not a tech wizard). Most weeks I have a few to dozens of emails about everything from how to homeschool to how to be a freelance writer–so many I’ve written long posts to point people in that direction–but I’ve been answering for at least 2 hours a day–sometimes 4 hours–all week. This usually happens in September and January, sure, but it never seems to get easier.
Lack of sleep has a role to play here, but my nightly paranoia and panic attacks coupled with daily temper tantrums may have some roots in the season (weather, political, whatever). I ran across a post from Terri Windling’s Myth & Moor today that resonated with the chaos of my body and mind, and in it she shared this video.
If that brings you comfort, it makes me glad. It gave me comfort, too.
After announcing to the world (aka Facebook) that I won’t be around for question-answering for a couple of days, I closed my laptop, had a snack with my daughter (yes, not eating probably plays into this madness on occasion) and snuggled. Then she asked if I could help her install a Minecraft texture pack. If you know me, you know that you might as well be speaking a dead language, but I gave it a shot and pulled it off. Her joy at having a Doctor Who theme made is so worth it. It felt so good to get something right, to incite joy in someone, to watch her dance around happily because she can put posters of Christopher Eccleston on top of the crude, chunky game graphics. I’m so fortunate–every day I love to be around this happy, funny, clever, kind girl and I wonder what I did that was good enough to give me the chance to be her mom.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer wrote, “It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.” I’m off to do just that. I knew this week would be hard. Indy’s working 60 hours training for his new job and we are both experiencing, to put it mildly, “rough days.” Like this wolf, we just have to keep on walking.
It’s been a topsy turvey kind of week filled with joy, anxiety, fun, despair, and just about everything in between! January always sneaks up on me like that. I get so high on the prospect of new beginnings, my new planner and journal, goal setting and New Year’s, my second-favorite holiday, and bam, here’s a doldrums pie to the face! And as proud as I usually am at year’s end after meeting many of my goals, I’ll be the first to admit that I set way. Too. Many.
Here are a few things that I am loving this week.
Goofy photo filters. I’ve never tried them until this week, and it was a newish one that I’d never seen before. In one of many melancholy moments I just tried it on a whim and it made me laugh. Totally worth it.
Perspective. I’ve used that word on almost every single gratitude list this month. As soon as you choose to see things differently, to see something from a different perspective, everything changes.
Cozy blankets and my bed. I’ve not been there much this week but when I have, it’s been a refuge.
Understanding friends who get it. Some are having a much tougher time than I am right now. 9 out of 10 women, and many men, that I know are dealing with too-full plates and/or chronic pain right now and I just wish I could heal all of it.
Amazing opportunities that this life gives us. Wood Sprite does so many cool things in her life and many of them are courtesy of thoughtful homeschoolers who set things up.
What are you loving this week?