15. An Unsent Letter
Oooh have I written a number of these! “Vitriolic” could describe many of them, but many heartfelt, even aching, letters have been written and scrapped to long lost friends and loved ones. The most important one was written to my cousin, who was more like my brother, after he died a few years ago. I’ve also got many letters and entire journals written for Wood Sprite for her to read when she’s older, though I really wish I took the time to scribble down more these days. When she was little I stuck to it pretty vigorously but the older I’ve become, the more I’ve relaxed about such things in favor of an hour of sleep here and there!
I won’t be posting any for the challenge, though. Relishing my privacy lately by not sharing even a tenth of what I used to online has become such a decadent pleasure for me. If there’s something special, I send it to my closest friends and family in a private message or, better yet, tell them in person, and my scribblings are almost always on paper once again. In my quest to really find a community and set up things for Sprite’s education and enrichment over the years I really had to step outside myself and be much more extroverted (not to mention accepting of things I’d never accept, which has its merits and drawbacks) than I am naturally and it’s been exhausting. Returning to my privacy has been akin to climbing back into myself again. If you like to share, by all means share; no judgment. It’s just definitely not something that contributes to my own happiness.
13. Something I’ve Always Wanted To Be Good At
Writing endings. Starting stories has never been an issue for me, but it’s always a struggle to end them. Maybe I just don’t want them to end!
Playing an instrument. I did choir instead of band, and I loved it, but I wish I’d picked something up along the way. It’s never too late!
Having a sense of style. I just don’t have one. My kid has an amazing sense of style, and so do my sisters and my mom. I’ve never really cared and prefer comfort and practicality to fashion, but it would be nice once in a while. My mom says that when I was a kid, she tried to dress me up but I’d always wander off, change and reappear “dressed as a lumberjack.”
Relaxing. I feel restless just doing nothing and it’s always made me uncomfortable. My mom is the same way. We both have a hard time sitting still and not doing anything unless we’re sick or injured. If I’m reading I can do it but there’s not as much time for that as I’d like. Even if I watch a movie with my family these days I often find my mind wandering about something I need to do–or I fall asleep! As a movie lover this has been irritating lately. I’ve fallen asleep during more movies this year than I have in my entire life.
Cooking. I’ve come to the realization that I’m really a decent cook. I just don’t enjoy it. So I suppose what I should really say is that I wish I enjoyed cooking. Indy loves to do it, but since he works 12-hour days and I work from home, it’s usually one of my tasks for the day.
Running. I’d love to be one of those runners who gets a natural high but I’m not a fan at all. I do like hiking and walking, and I loved playing softball in my youth, but I’ve never enjoyed running.
14. A Weird Thing I Do When I’m Alone
I have really goofy conversations with myself, sometimes narrating what I’m doing in an accent or explaining my actions to the dogs, like I’m teaching them the recipe I’m using (they’re always watching if food is involved, anyway). I dance with them when we’re alone, too.
Become incredibly hyperactive and silly. My gravitas is palpable in most situations, but believe it or not I’ve lightened up since my teen years when everyone mistook me as a very serious adult. When I’m around those who know me, however, especially my nuclear family, I get pretty silly.
Sing parodies to every song that plays. I wish I wrote them down. Some of them are too funny.
I love meme wars with Wood Sprite. They are awesomely bad and cringe-worthy, to quote her own descriptions.
I loved Ant-Man and The Wasp! I also loved the Hannah Gadsby Netflix special and the new Michelle Wolf show.
I love when Indy feels like making dinner. Bacon-wrapped jalapenos? Yes, please.
I love the blase attitude I sometimes now have regarding our birth experience. I felt guilty at first when the urgency wore off and I failed to express the gravitas and humility and shock and gamut of other complicated feelings associated with the ordeal, when I could simply state it all so matter-of-fact. This happened again when we explained it to a new-ish friend, who teared up hearing Sprite’s story for the first time, but this time I felt grateful for not feeling that rumbling ruckus of emotion during the explanation–to feel normal (what’s normal for us, anyway!) after all of these years. I was able to read an entire article about another mom’s experience without having to get up, turn away, shut down. The tears still came but so did the cognizant discourse. I’ll never stop feeling grateful and I doubt I’ll ever be able to look at the photos (or even photos of other preemies) without a lump forming in my throat, but it’s nice to not feel instantly transported back to those days every time it comes up anymore.
I love game nights with our friends and can’t wait for this weekend.
I love the new pots, knives, gloves and other goodies my mom brought over. We are set for tween/teen nights for the semester on paper products!
What are you loving this week?
12. Describe a Great Day, Real Or Imagined
We huddled in the tiny room, caring for our newborn alone for the first time. Aside from her oxygen and monitor, there weren’t any other noises, wires or additional babies in the room as we crossed our fingers and hoped that she’d continue to stay stable, to not de-sat and have to stay as she’d done before. She was six pounds and we were ready to go home after three months of being in the hospital.
Nerve-wracking doesn’t even begin to describe it. There we were, barely into our twenties and, despite the years of experience we’d had with our own siblings and the months in the hospital with her, completely excited and overwhelmed at the prospect of parenthood. There were still some non-normal things involved, from the prune juice and glycerin to the canula she wore on the plane home (not to mention the behemoth tank in the house), but it was the first just-the-three-of-us day, which continues to be my favorite kind of day.
Day 11. Three Favorite Scents
LUSH Vanilliary (which I wish were available as a lotion!) and Heavenlii, which was discontinued a few years ago.
Oils from Indigo Fragrance. I’ve been blending my own “lotion” with oil and coconut oil, body oils, scenting my dryer balls, using them in the diffuser… they are fantastic. I love the Vanilliary, but I also bought a couple of discontinued oils to try (coffee and French vanilla) and the French vanilla is my favorite. People keep asking what I’m wearing and where they can get it! Their prices are super reasonable but be sure to dilute your oils before using them on skin.
Indy, fresh from the shower. ❤
Coffee. Anywhere. The coffee aisle, the gas station coffee area, coffee brewing in my kitchen… I’d have to say that going to Kaldi’s is probably the best.
I also dig citrus, coconutty, herbaceous, woodsy and other sweet scents. I’m not a big fan of florals unless they’re blended with other scents.
What are your favorite scents?
Working at the food pantry with my family. We enjoyed chatting with another mom we hadn’t known very well and working in the cute church room.
Reading Deathly Hallows aloud. We’re almost halfway there and on target toward our goal of finishing by July 24 so we can do a week-long movie marathon before we go to Harry Potter Trivia Night.
Petting Pumpkin the porg, who is also a Goomba’s shoe. I’ve never had a cat who tried to eat my fingers as i type but that’s what she does when I stop petting her: lick, bite, purr. At least she’s learning to gingerly walk around the keyboard instead of on top of it. Now if only she’d stop dive-bombing my planner and skidding on it! I’ve already had to tape some of her damages.
Writing All The Things
Seeing Jersey Boys! A mom in our Scouts troop was able to get free tickets and it was Indy’s first time going. The music was fabulous.
Getting all of our 4-H stuff organized and ready for conference judging next week! The fact that it’s actually July is really setting in now.
Watching South Side with You. It was every bit as cute as you’d think it would be.
Eyeing the Turtle Planner. I’m definitely after the Uncalendar for 2020, too.
Prepping for this week’s game night with some of my favorite people.
Watching Help Helen Smash. I’ve seen her in the past but I binged a bunch the other day and cracked up so hard. Her creepy Amanda character is my favorite. Now all Indy wants to do is say bad pickup lines in my direction but that’s become pretty funny, too.
Looking forward to seeing the Sunken Cities exhibit for free on Friday! Indy and I also have a date night on Saturday while Sprite goes to a Scouts overnight.
Wanting to go swimming.
Enjoying Wood Sprite’s cosplay skills. My mom gave her a rain coat and combined with her thrift store finds she’s making some cool outfits that go very well with her favorite book series, Lockwood & Co.
Making plans for three upcoming mom’s nights… well, one of them isn’t a mom’s night but a night with old friends from high school, and the other two are my regular monthly dates with my favorite moms.
Seeing Ant Man and The Wasp! It was outstanding and has replaced Thor: Ragnarok as my second-favorite Marvel movie. Black Panther is still #1. These points are coming in handy to see free movies! I really recommend 1. signing up for Marcus rewards, 2. signing up for Fandango rewards and 3. getting tickets on $5 Tuesdays.
What are you up to?